


Moments of Clarity

by Krasimer



Series: And Now a Flower Grows 'Verse [8]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Bad Jokes, Bad Puns, Cute, Dating Start!, Developing Relationship, Divergent Timelines, F/M, Light Angst, Mentions of Dadster, Mom Toriel, PTSD Sans, Pacifist Frisk, Pacifist Route, Post-Pacifist Route, Pre-Pacifist Route, Sans is nervous about asking someone out, Shy Sans, Soriel, moments in time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-06-09 09:45:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6900886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krasimer/pseuds/Krasimer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The moments that sort of define you are the ones you remember forever.</p><p>(A look at the Pre, During, and Post-Pacifist timeline through Sans's POV.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moments of Clarity

It felt like loss.

From the first moment he trudged back through the door of the house he shared with Papyrus-

(Shared with someone else, once. 

The air had been filled with laughter, warmth, and Bad Jokes that felt good.)

-Everything had felt like it had lost some color. Paps had been quiet for a few days, out of the ordinary, as if he somehow knew that someone was gone. But he was just a kid, he didn't understand what was happening.

And so it went like this.

There were some days he'd wake up, take a breath and choke as if he were drowning. He'd lie on his back, fingers nearly tearing his blanket from how tight he gripped it. He'd try to breathe, try to breathe, gasp until he couldn't take it anymore, then force himself to sit up and look at the wall. Things came a little easier after that, but there was always a marrow-deep ache. Some sort of loss that he could never name, the heartbreak of someone missing, never to return.

There were some days...

There were always some days. He could hear Pap downstairs, and he's making breakfast again now that he's learning from Undyne. He could swear his brother only ever decided to take her lessons because he got tired of Grillby's food. In the middle of the tornado of trash and broken memories, he could see the remains of a once-pristine lab coat. Dressed in his now normal outfit of blue hoodie, shorts, slippers and socks, Sans dragged himself out of his room and pretended to be just like anyone else.

(In the shed out back, there's one remaining photo of a group of scientists. 

Sans is one of them.

Sans has never been one of them.)

The bottle of ketchup is automatic, a habitually reached for thing that always sort of brings comfort to him. A quick check on his soul tells him worrying things, and he has to just send out a quick, thankful thought that Papyrus hasn't noticed yet.

(Maybe he has, and just wants you gone.

No.

Not Paps. Doesn't have a single mean bone in his body, and that's saying something considering he's all bone. He has never fought back for himself, never once done anything but defend.

It's why he's so stuck on being a Royal Guard.)

...

(He'd be good- No, he'd be great at it, if they'd just give him a chance.)

~

"Oh, wait, wait wait wait, I got one!" he grinned, feeling the low-energy of his soul lifting for a moment.

A laugh echoed through the door. "Oh?"

He rapped his knuckles against it, settling his feet into the snow firmly. His spine hit the door and he grimaced, but ignored it. "Knock knock!"

"Who's there?"

"Avenue!"

A moment of silence made him chuckle, feeling the urge to scream with something he couldn't name. His soul felt good, for the first time in ages.

"Avenue who?"

Spreading his hands, Sans closed his eyes, imagining the woman on the other side of the door, pressed against it. Her own smile would be beautiful, not like his cracked little thing. "Avenue knocked on this door before?"

She howled with laughter this time. "I should be telling you that one!" she managed to get the words out through her fit of joy. He felt the vibrations when she put her hand against the door, knocking sharply.

"Who's there?"

"Noah!"

"Noah who?"

Man, she always sounded so lovely. Grade A classy chick, smartly dressed and brilliant to boot, he'd bet on it. 

"Noah good place we can get something to eat?"

He paused.

From inside the Ruins, she seemed to realize it, immediately apologizing. "Sorry, just- I heard it somewhere once. It's a little-"

"It's fine." he said quietly. Damn.

He hadn't realized how much he wanted to be able to see her face when she laughed. The thought of her opening the door and letting him see her was a tormenting one, full of hope he didn't carry with him anymore. 

"Still, it's...I'm sorry."

For a moment, he backed away, stared, then flushed blue. 

Wow.

What a lady.

"Hey," he tapped gently on the door. "Knock knock."

"...Who's there?"

"Kirtch."

"Kirtch who?"

Good, he could hear her happy mood coming back. "Oh, well, bless you!"

Her laughter was gorgeous.

He'd give anything to keep it going, even if it meant losing himself in the process.

~

The surface was different than anything else he'd ever seen.

It was bright, loud, filled with people, and he could have sworn that the world had never seemed this big in the books he'd read. 

(Or the vague memories he took away from his dreams.)

Toriel was standing in the light, shielding her eyes, and goddamn, she was beautiful. Her fur was a shining white, her dress a warm sort of purple, and her eyes were stunning. They'd seen each other for the first time in Asgore's throne room, and he'd been a little distracted by this timeline going differently. 

He regretted that.

Frisk was next to Papyrus in the background, and he could see Toriel was holding the pot with Flowey in it.

Nothing was going to ruin this for him. 

These were his people, and he could feel his soul heal with every moment he passed without a reset.

~

A door had never seemed so imposing and threatening before.

Even the door to the Ruins, trapping Toriel behind it in her self-imposed prison, had never seemed so big. And now, now he was standing in front of the one to where she had settled down after adopting Frisk. 

(The ladies at the orphanage had nearly cried in relief when Frisk walked through the door.

The kid had been missing for a while, and the last they'd heard was of bullies chasing them off.

At least it gained a little sympathy, which had probably allowed Tori to sign the papers formalizing the adoption that much faster.

He didn't think he'd ever forget her smile.

Or theirs.)

He held a bouquet of flowers (Paps had talked his ear off until he'd agreed) and he wore a nicer shirt than he usually did. He'd switched in his slippers for the sneakers he'd worn back when he was employed by the Royal Lab, and he'd even let Papyrus dab a small amount of cologne onto his vertabrae. With a nervous swallow, he raised a hand to knock on the door, then hesitated.

What if she said no?

It wasn't like he was able to offer all that much, she was the Queen of the Underground, even if they didn't operate on that system anymore, and she was a Boss Monster and she was just so pretty...

He sighed, then nodded. 

He'd gotten dressed, bought a bouquet of flowers specifically for this, dragged old memories into the open to air out. He could do this. He'd lived through RESET after RESET, he'd dealt with a psychotic couple of children using the Underground as a battlefield...

He'd watched his family and the people he cared about die so many times it'd likely be nightmares for the rest of forever for him.

But he could do this. 

It was just asking her out. One small date between friends. Pap went on 'Dates' all the time, had even gone on one with the human. Hell, they were probably inside right now, and they'd maybe give him a thumbs up for the thought of asking their new mom out on a date. They liked him, right?

Right?

Right.

He forced himself to nod, then raised his hand again. 

But what is Toriel didn't approve of the idea? What if he'd read her reactions all wrong, what if- What if she was just being polite and kind, like she always was, and he'd read too much into it and she didn't like him that way and was uncomfortable with him asking and oh fuck, she'd never talk to him again!

Maybe it was better to just throw the flowers into the can at the end of the driveway and take off running in one direction or another.

A loud noise from directly in front of him made him startle, his eye glowing blue for a moment. When he managed to calm down, he realized it was a knock. "...Who's there?"

"Anee!" came Toriel's voice from behind the door.

This...Yeah, this was familiar. He could do this.

"Anee who?"

"Anee-one you like!"

He grinned and knocked back. 

"Who's there?"

"A herd."

"A herd who?"

"A herd you were home, so I came over!" he brushed a careful knuckle over the door, feeling his face flush a bright blue, his soul rising in his chest. His Hope was better these days, improved from the level of precisely one it had been at before. It felt like it rose even more when he heard her laughter through the door and the open window a few feet away.

Before she could reply, he knocked again. 

"Who is it?" she asked sweetly, laughter still tinting her voice.

"Dozen."

"Dozen who?"

"Dozen anybody wanna let me in?"

Her laughter shrieked into the sky for a moment, and he felt himself grow warmer, his bones rattling.

"Lettuce!" he said, knocking again.

"Lettuce who?"

"Lettuce in, it's cold out here!"

She turned the handle, and he grabbed it for a moment. "Uh, hey, Tori?"

"Yes Sans?"

"Got one more for ya." he pulled his hand back. "Well, maybe two. Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Adore."

"Adore Who?"

"Adore is between us, open up," he stepped back to let it open, then cleared his throat. "And also, adore you." he offered her the flowers. "I uh, didn't- I had something planned. I did, I know I did. It was good, was gonna be charmin' and sweet and I..." he was shaking, not good. "Uh...Roses are red, bananas are yellow, wanna go out with a nice little fellow?" he paused, then looked away. "That was bad."

He didn't hear her say anything.

"See, the thing is Tori, I really..." he swallowed again. "I really - Really - like you. And I was kind of hoping you'd like me back."

Still nothing.

"Uh, sorry, I'll just-" he took a step back, down off the porch and started heading for the sidewalk.

A paw wrapped around his arm made that a little harder, it turned out. "Sans?"

Ah crap, her eyes were shining like she was going to cry.

"I'm real sorry, Toriel." he rubbed at the back of his skull. "We can pretend this didn't happen and I didn't screw up this badly."

"Sans, why would I want to pretend this didn't happen?"

Toriel tilted her head, kneeling down to be sitting on the porch. Even sitting, she was still close to his height. Her face was torn between amusement and surprise, and she had the flowers in her lap. "Sans?"

She's beautiful and intelligent and funny and there's so many reasons this is a mistake she's never going to want to look at you again...

Instead, she rubbed her chin along his skull, tugging gently at his arm. "I...I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I’m willing to make an exception in your case."

What?

"What?"

"From the moment I first heard a voice on the other side of the door, I wanted to meet him." Toriel gestured him down, resettling so that he could sit right next to her. "I spent years in those Ruins, and I thought that it was the end of everything for me. I'd lost children, and my ex-husband had gone odd in the head, and nothing was right anymore." she nuzzled against him. "And then, in the middle of what I felt would be my last years, I heard a voice, telling jokes to the air. Well, when something that funny happens, you have to take part in it."

She took his hand in her paw, ran the pad of a finger over the knuckle bone scar he had. "And he was smart, and funny, and he made me feel, for the first time in a long time, like I had any sort of Hope." a dark look crossed her face. "Frisk insisted on leaving, and I remembered making you promise to take care of the humans, and I hoped they would be safe."

"I did my best."

"I know," she smiled at him, her fangs glinting like pearls in the light. "And they're alive and well. I have a new home, I have a child, and the voice I heard on the other side of the door turned out to be the skeleton I found in the end, just before being free."

"Tori-"

"I want my new life to have you in it." she said, her voice soft. "And I would very much like to go on that date with you."

Sans's face lit up, his left eye glowing brilliantly as his jaw dropped. "Oh. Oh!"

"Yes, you silly skeleton. Just give me a few minutes to get dressed in something else and call someone to look after Frisk." she stood up slowly, offering him her hands to help him up as well. "I don't think you wish to be seen in public looking that dapper with a poorly dressed old lady at your side."

"Tori, you could wear a potato sack and still be..." he grinned, the faintly pleased rattle of his bones a quiet hum. " _Eye-catching_!"

She laughed, the sound reminding him of bells.

**Author's Note:**

> I really like writing shy hesitant Sans. It's fun, and I greatly encourage it.


End file.
